[Humor] – Be careful what you wish for

40 years of marriage….

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding
anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She
said, ‘For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving
to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.’
The wife answered, ‘Oh, I want to travel around the world with my
darling husband’
The fairy waved her magic wand and – poof! – two tickets for the Queen
Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: ‘Well, this is all very romantic,
but an opportunity like this will never come again. I’m sorry my love,
but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.
So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!…the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female…..

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An atheist

An atheist was walking through the woods.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could  over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer.

He tripped and fell on the ground.

He  saw that the bear was right on top of him, and raising his right paw to strike him…

At that instant the Atheist cried out, ‘Oh my God!’

Time Stopped.  The bear froze.  The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.

‘You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don’t exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.’
‘Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?

Am I to count you as a believer?

The atheist looked directly into the light, ‘It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian’?

‘Very well,’ said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke:

‘For what I am about to receive, may the Lord make me truly thankful, Amen.’

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Time for your Annual inside the Computer Window cleaning

You probably don’t clean your computer screen very often and it is really hard to do the inside, so here is my present to you.

Click on the word “here” above, wait for a few seconds and the inside of your screen will be cleaned for you!  Feel free to forward on.

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People of WalMart

Pictures of WalMart people. The gene pool has gone awry!

I hope none of you find yourselves subjects of this study…

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

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Global Warming Trends added

Added a new page today for Global Warming trends for South Erin which is based on data recorded since 2005 here.

Script courtesy of Michael Holden from www.relayweather.com *EXT*

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EasyCleaner

EasyCleaner is a small program which searches the Windows registry for entries that are pointing nowhere.

EasyCleaner also lets you delete all kinds of unnecessary files such as temps and backups. You can search for duplicate files and you can view some interesting info about your disk space usage! You are also able to manage startup programs, invalid shortcuts and add/remove software list. ToniArts may not be held accountable in any way if EasyCleaner affects your computer in a negative way. List of some features:

  • Very nice interface!
  • Finds invalid registry entries —-> deleting them speeds up your computer!
  • Finds duplicate files —-> deleting them will free disk space!
  • Finds all unnecessary files like backups, temps etc. —-> deleting them will free disk space!
  • Finds all invalid shortcuts —-> deleting them will free disk space and increase usability!
  • Manage programs starting at Windows startup! —-> who knows, you might even catch a virus before it gets serious!
  • Manage Windows add/remove software listing!
  • Easily remove Internet Explorer’s temporary Internet files, history and cookies!
  • Very user friendly!
  • Shows some interesting info about your disk space usage.
  • Very customizable.
  • Multi-language support!
  • Uses only little amount of resources while running!
  • Huge help file which gives you every little detail about EasyCleaner!
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The PC Decrapifier

The PC Decrapifier is a program designed to remove or uninstall a specific list of unwanted software in an unattended fashion.  It can be used to clean off most of the annoying software that is typically shipped with new PCs.

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